#1: Make Time for Each Other

Carolyn and I have been busy people and sometimes extremely busy. Can you relate? When our children were younger, the pace was even more hectic. But no matter how busy we have been, “each-other” time has always been a high priority. One way we accomplish this is by finding activities that we both enjoy and avoiding activities that one of us don't enjoy. For example, we both enjoy antiques, so we have enjoyed shopping together, sometimes buying and sometimes generally admiring antiques together.

#2: Learn a Foreign Language

Perhaps you have heard about the five love languages concept by Dr. Gary Chapman. He tells how different personalities express love and want to receive love in five different ways: Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.

#3: Don’t Hang Wallpaper Together

It’s a cliché, but there is wisdom in this advice. We didn’t realize this early in our marriage. We actually once tried hanging wallpaper together in one small area. The rest is Mark and Carolyn relationship lore. Here’s the principle: Avoid situations that put you at odds with each other.

#4: Spend Less Than You Earn

So many marriages experience immense stress due to overstretched finances. The underlying problem is similar to what we teach our children about taking too much food: “Don’t let your eyes be bigger than your stomach.” Similarly, smart couples don’t let their eyes get bigger than their bank account. Just like the mashed potatoes and gravy look so good that kids pile on too much, “stuff” looks so good that we pile on far more than our actual finances. The answer is to be satisfied with less. The joy of more is temporary, and the resulting financial pressure is unrelenting. It's not worth it. Make the first item in your budget “ourselves,” meaning your savings. Shoot for a goal of 10% savings. Use your savings to pay off debt and share the joy of financial freedom. We have found financial freedom a great blessing to our marriage.

#5: Use Strategic Words & Phrases

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof” (Proverbs 18:21). You can kill your marriage by using harmful words and phrases. Conversely, you can breathe life into your marriage through good words. Here are some strategic words & phrases that have helped us stay happily married:

• You first.
• Please and thank you.
• Tell me more.
• My mistake, I’m sorry.
• Good morning gorgeous.
• I’ve been thinking about you all day long.
• You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.

For more resources to help you grow in your walk with Christ, visit my blog: markalanwilliams.net